Things I never thought I'd say . . .

When you aren't a parent, things you think you might say as a parent may include:  "Please clean up your toys." "It's bedtime." or "Don't run in the house."

Now that I've been a parent for 8 years, I've found myself saying things I never thought I'd say . . .

• Don't stick your finger in the doggie's butt.
• Take your hand out of the toilet.
• You may NOT eat the dryer sheets.
• Don't put your hands in your pants.
• Please don't head-butt mommy. 
• My shirt is not a tissue.
• Don't lick my shoes.
• Put the sump pump pipe back.
• We do NOT throw forks.
• Put the poop down (as in dog poop in the yard).
• Stop pouring spaghetti on the dog.
• Chocolate milk is for drinking, not for painting.
• I do not want to eat your booger.
• Take my bra off your head.
• You cannot eat your sucker after you stick it to the dog.

And most recently:

• You may not wear your cowboy boots to bed.

(I should mention that all of the above are things I've had to say to my son.  He is a character, to say the least.)